You're Still on My Mind

It's been a long time since I last met you, I didn't even think about you anymore, because I have decided not to think of you (just in a sense of friendship anyway).  I spent pretty much of my time for studying, doing assignments and finding fun stuff. I'm pretty happy with that. My life seems okay and nice. My life has been back to its normal pace.

I guessed that I already forgot about my feeling. In fact, it's not that simple. I don't know why, he appeared in my dream last night. Appeared in the last stage of REM sleep (the stage where dreams are best remembered, Weiten has said, lol). It was like I finally saw him after a long period of time and we became really close to each other. We were doing silly things and that was so much fun happened. Too fun to just wake up afterwards.

Then I sat and mused for a while, what was that about. Later I realised, probably Freud's theory about dreams as wish fulfillment is true. I don't really understand what I really want. It's probably just my unconscious wish (i.e. my Id) that's not yet accomplished. I admit myself that I still have that kind of 'feeling' on him, but I decided not to bear it in mind since I believe that it is distracting and will only drive me crazy. Craving for something that's almost impossible to reach (I believe in what my mom said, though).

Well, at least now I know that you're still on my mind. In my deepest memory, unconscious. Whatever it takes, luckily it didn't bother my life. I'm still okay. Fortunately, it didn't make me miss him..haha. How lucky!

I.