An Unhappy Day

I was planning to visit one of my friend's house to have a sleepover for a night. I know that this will be exciting. I went there, in the Mount Albert suburb area last night. Having fun with 2 of my friends, settled down and then started to mess the house, haha.

Both of my friends are Korea lovers, while I am not. They showed me a lot of SNSD's performances video last night. Well, it was interesting, now I know a bit more about K-Pop, which was my friends plan -  to 'brain-washed' me, lol.

We kept watching those stuffs in youtube until nearly 3 AM in the morning, I was so sleepy that time. Then we decided to sleep. Well, the three of us were so hungry that time, since we were having dinner at 7 PM the night before. Then, our tummies started to make weird noises. Then we laughed at each other. That was before we went to sleep.

It's Monday morning. We got up nearly 10 AM this morning. We had Indonesian Sweet Martabak for breakfast. It's so nice though, since we were all Indonesian. Then we took shower one by one and we were heading to St. Lukes mall to have lunch. We were having Japanese bento and KFC chicken bites. We went to the city center afterwards.

I went around with my friends to accompany them enrolling for Korean language course. They asked me to join with them, but I am not really interested in it, so I didn't take it. We went to the place twice, oh my gosh, that was so tiring cause the road isn't flat. Then we continued going to a pool place. I only sat there cause I was so tired.

By the time we finished, we went to the library and continued back to the uni. I checked my stuff and unfortunately I found that my handbag was broken, on its one side of the sling is ripped.

By the time I got home, I immediately plugged my phone to charge it, since it is running out of battery. Well, a worse incident happened. The connector was exploded and the power couldn't work. I told the manager already, but he seemed don't understand and too relax, while I am worried about that. The last thing happened was the changing of the research material. Well, I didn't blame anyone. I already did the test the night before, while I am receiving the email in the morning, today. Luckily my test is counted, so I don't need to repeat the test. I think I need to move as soon as possible to find another modern and safer place.

I just felt unfortunate today, well I have to be grateful everyday. Everything occurs for a reason. I hope to get a better life afterwards.

I.

The Weather Affects My Mood

The first time I arrived in New Zealand, it was winter. I couldn't imagine how cold it would be back then, since I came from a tropical country.
I wear two layers of clothes and a parka. I still remember when I was waiting for the flight transfer in Sydney, it was so damn cold. Unfortunately, Auckland was so damn colder. Even I saw the sun was shining so bright, but the wind couldn't lie.
However, that's normal though, cause it was my first time to taste winter overseas.

After a week passed, I feel something happened with my mood.
Well, the winter in Auckland is almost full of rainy days. I really hate the rain here, cause it's so windy that it could break my umbrella.
It's not as hard as Indonesian rain anyway, but the wind is crazy.

My umbrella once has been capsized by the wind, but luckily it's still alright until now. That's actually my mom's lovely umbrella, so sad if it's broken. But anyway, she has given it to me, I just need to be more careful. Today, my umbrella was almost being capsized again but luckily it didn't..fiiuuh.

Well, let's go back to my mood. I don't know why, I don't really like when the day is so gloomy. It seems dark and it makes me lazy. Well, not necessarily lazy of doing assignment or so, just so lazy of going out, even hanging out with friends. It discouraged me to do something, cause it makes my feeling sad. I know that some people feel that a gloomy day is a good day for sleeping, well for me it's annoying. I don't really care about sleeping all day long, it just affects my mood. I always think that a gloomy day is not a good day for lectures or so. While when it is a sunny day with the spring breeze, that's a good day for me. While many people use those days to go to the beach, I prefer studying or maybe hang out somewhere..haha. Since it affects my mood to be happy and active. However, I don't like a hot sunny day. So, perhaps autumn or spring is the best time for me. While summer and winter are not really. But anyway I still need to do my study and else, so I still need to get out of home and do some activities.

I just wanna share that I'm kinda unique, cause my mood goes with the weather. As one of my friend say, I am a weird person that my mood is affected by the weather. Sad when it's gloomy and happy when it's sunny. I find it annoying sometimes, cause it's kinda hard for me to laugh when it's gloomy (especially when I'm outside home). Well, that's me though, I like being unique anyway..haha. But perhaps it's good for me to train myself stay happy everyday, cause happy makes us stay young..lol.

I.

The feeling of knowing nothing

Have you ever felt unstable without knowing the reason why you feel that way?

I did feel like that several times, and exactly I feel it now.
I find it really annoying to feel worry or sad about something but I don't know what that is.
When I come into that feeling, all that appears on my mind is just tired, I just wanna piss this off, I need a rest, I need a holiday.

I am a person who is so easy to get 'panic attack'. When I got something that doesn't match with my expectation, I will be very devastated. I know it's not good, but it's so hard to change my habit anyway.

I tried several ways to get rid of this feeling. Sometimes I draw something, I listen to music or write something down on social media like what I do now. But still, I can't cope with it, it's stressful though.

Sometimes I discovered why I feel unstable by remembering all the stuffs I have gone through the day. Later I find the reason why: worry too much. Another bad thing about me is I worry about the past and the future once I got, let's say 'a bad day'. I will think about it until several days without doing anything, 'till I got a 'good idea attack'. Then I will start doing something, which is kinda time consuming.

Well, I just wanna have an ability to cope with every situation in my life, but it's not that simple.
Perhaps, praying and doing 'yoga-like' relaxation is the best way to be happier and to get brighter thinking. My mom always suggests me to do that everytime I'm stressed out, but the best thing I can do is sleeping, my lovely hobby ;p


I.

Life is a Journey, Death is the Final Destination

Do you ever think what the term 'life' means?

Perhaps people think life is when we can breathe and when we do some activities. Life is what we do and what we are.

For me, life is a journey. I was born to follow a cycle, from a baby to a mature person like now.

I wonder why I was taught to walk, cause by walking I will be ready to start my journey. Journey is not always about going somewhere and do traveling, journey starts here wherever you are. Even for the first day of school, that is your educational journey.

Life is about finding who you really are and why are you here.

My journey starts with opening my eyes for the first time. It then continues by hearing voices, taste food, touch my mom's hand and smell the air.

By the time I grew up, I continued my journey through school, several holiday trips, religious places and problems. Well, I think problems teach me the most. By the time I got a problem and I succeeded to solve it, I have developed. I find it is true. That's the way to be mature like now.

I really enjoy my journey, my life cycle. I know so many people with different backgrounds and cultures. I learn how to treat them too. I also learn how to settle down in a strange place where I am now. Where I know nobody, nowhere.

Many people say that I am adventurous. Well, I am not quite adventurous. I am actually a bit scared of coming to an 'in the middle of nowhere' place. One thing that I point out is maybe because I am an open-minded person with huge curiosity. Therefore, I do so many things, as many as I can. I want to travel as many places as I can go. I have so many hobbies, well, not quite a hobby, just something I am interested in. For now, I don't really have specific hobbies. I can sing, I can write, I can read, I am quite good at photography, etc. But I am not an expert at anything. Well, I am still in the middle of my journey, so that's okay if I try everything :)

Another thing why I call my life is a journey is that I know where and when to start, but I don't know where to stop. Journey itself never ends just like the world is round that has no edge. But, because I take this journey to represent my life, it will stop when it reaches 'the edge', specifically, something called "death". That is where my journey stopped. That is my final destination.

But, do you consider the life after death? I do believe it in some ways. Now, it gets confusing whether the journey will stop or not. Well, while I am still alive, I will do everything I like, everything I want, everything I must, whatever. Just give a try for everything to have fun of it :)

Good night, this is just a rough post of mine as the first try of blogging :p

Greeting from my kingdom, in the middle of nowhere.